Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ghatam Street

   It had been almost two weeks since that painful journey in what they called a SpiceJet and almost a week since I had gotten used to walking barefoot in the house, feeling clean tiles, a welcome respite from the layer of dust and sand which usually covered my hostel room. Itching to discover useful ways of wasting time apart from the usual books and movie 'projects' which I had undertaken, most of which were past deadline, I decided to buy a new Ghatam.
   After making a few calls and inquiring about prices and doing a bit of asking around, facts came to light. The air-conditioned, upmarket music showrooms were owned by daylight robbers who sold Ghatams at ten times the price they brought them for. Not to degrade my instrument or anything, but it's only a clay pot, albeit one of a uniform texture, pitch and heat treatment but nonetheless, a clay pot. And if a Ghatam costs you an arm, a leg and pretty much your whole torso to buy, without Vinayakaram's autograph to show for it, you know the world is coming to a sad capitalist end.  
   To cut down on the cyphers at the end of the price tag, we headed to the very source, the 'factory' in Mylapore, where apparently existed a street with a dead-end. Every family on this street had once depended on the different shades of brown and the vastly diverse shapes clay could inhabit. As time wore on, the art was still passed from one generation to the next, but the money in it declined, and they were forced to seek  better paying jobs. A few vestiges of the profession remained, and only one family made Ghatams in that street.
   Small, freshly molded dark green toy pots laid out for drying by the hundreds, pots and strange looking vases immaculately being carved by swift and nimble hands which guided the clay as it took shape and of course, Ghatams of every size, thickness and Shruti, pitch were present.
   What stuck me as very strange was the whole 'architecture' of the buildings, built with absolutely no gaps in between. This particular dead-end street was slightly cut off from the usual Mylapore (For that matter, what is usual Mylapore? Stupid Area). Disproportionate buildings which ran high up were no more than four arm-stretches wide. We were led into a 'house' which wasn't very wide but was three floors high and ran as far as the eye could see! I later realized that they were actually many homes which were simply built with common walls like a slum, but very unlike one, as cement and bricks instead of tin and tarpaulin and plasma TVs instead of soot from burning wood adorned the walls! They were well-to-do families. The street was an economy on its own.
   As the husband was out working, the lady of the house displayed a few Ghatams on the floor as I sheepishly tested a few of them, having completely no idea how to select one. Picking two which sounded good and of appropriate size, we were astounded when the lady charged us almost thrice the amount we paid the last time. "We don't make them anymore. Only a handful of customers want Ghatams, so we have started outsourcing them from my uncle who lives in a village near Thanjavur." She refused to budge. We paid them, realizing that while the art of making Ghatams died out, a few families like this one had established a monopoly, naming any price they wanted to normal customers and music showrooms.
   We left, thinking about this uncle in Thanjavur and how old he could be (The lady was herself past fifty). What about after he...? Who would sell Madras Ghatams in Madras then? 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Them Dads

Been a month. Aiyyo.
Another semester. Another fun-filled semester of failed expectations. The writer cannot exactly recall much about the sem which just passed by, slowly and surely as the winter which tiptoes in through the backdoor, owing to his poor memory. (I still don't exactly know where we went for the DoPy trip, somewhere near Musssorie, or was it some Gunj?) Two of his wingies were slightly unnerved when they woke up in the morning to a knock on their doors and their fathers behind them. Don't exactly blame them, but who pays a surprise visit to their son's college early morning without the bleakest of excuses to show for it? It's not like the college is set in a sprawling metropolis for them to take a small 220 km detour anyway. ("Hey, son! Just checking out that new Adidas showroom for sweaters, so I thought I would drop by, you know. How you doing? What's that smell?"). If you're wondering, Pilani does have an Adidas with sab bilkul orijhanal peeces . Seems legit.
   That was not the point, anyway. So the dads minded their own business and we were all cool about it. So what if one of them could not sleep (owing to the nerve-wracking, gut-wrenching, blood-curdling screams of Yours truly) and told us off when we were 'celebrating' my birthday? So what if we had to slightly lower our music volumes and tone down our language and change the way we knock on doors and keep the corridor lights on during the night and speak in hushed tones around them and... stuff? We were pretty cool about it. Then it broke.
I woke up one bright morning, swung open my door and what I saw blinded me. 
The clothesline. It was, like, full, yo.
His dad had washed my wingie's clothes. All of them.
I took a peak at my mess of a room of a laundry basket. Clothes here, there, every-bloody-where. Here I was, undergoing continuous, back-to-back, crucifying laundry crises, biding my time, pushing off the day I would finally sit down in the cold, cold winter and do mine in the cold, cold water, and his dad pops up and  showers him with fresh-out-of-the-basket undies. Pardon my language. I'm raging because my dad just got me guitar when he paid me a (announced) visit.
Lucky Sethi. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Quadrode to America


Warning: A series of events not in correct chronological order. Am Tarantino, yo.

A long, long, long time back, when the price of petrol was hiked to 48 roobees...
"... Should do a tour at least once in the holidays..."
"...Hmm, there are around seven in Madurai itself..."
   I kept phasing in and out of the conversation, picking up bits and pieces of garbled information as buildings and vehicles crept past, a dull background to a frame which was the car window, distorted by glass, half raised. We were eating out that night, part of the unfortunate Saturday night routine, when virtually everyone in the city was out, replete with slow moving traffic, nightmarish parking problems and booked-full restaurants. Our family was a walking cliche, dad on the wheel while mom doing the backseat driving, passing parking advice and leaving dad slightly fuming. I suddenly sat up.
  "What's a Dhivya-Desam?", I asked. Resorting to a long, detailed explanation on the 108 'special' temples of Vishnu, the gist of which was the aforementioned, she ended with, "Srirangam is one. There are some 106 in India, I think. The other two are in...."
"America", I finished, for some reason. Slightly piqued, dad parried with an indignant "No. Heaven". 
"What's the difference?"
 The result was a very, very rare expression, something you usually freeze for the rest of your life...

Not so long ago...
"When do your exams get over?"
"14th or 15th, I think. Will check."
"When are you reaching Delhi?"
"15th or 16th, I think. We should reach Chennai by 17th or 18th morning. Or so".
"Why are you always unsure about everything in life?"
"Po Ma!"
"Cheri Cheri... Bring unopened or unfinished pickle bottles back. We'll finish them here."
"Hey, do you want Toblerone, Mars or Snickers? I get them in ANC. I could bring a few chocolates for Krish."
"Enna Pilaniya illa Americava? Have you paid your dues? Will I get your CG card..."

Long time back...
"You think America is all F.R.I.E.N.D.S? People sitting in a coffee shop, having a good time and discussing who has a crush on who? No way. This is why I don't like that sitcom..."
I nodded, then shook my head, just to be sure. I had completely no idea what was going on. Had seen only one episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. in life, and that too with no subtitles... Knew the soundtrack though...Sounded like my 'fav' Backstreet Boys. (I repeat, this was a long time back)
"America is not all fun man..."
(The rest of the conversation I don't remember, but it did mention something about high standards of living leading to house-cleaners arriving in SUVs and charging a bomb. It also mentioned not accepting things from strangers and burglar alarms and lots and lots of bubble wrapping their kids.You get the drift)

Yesterday...
"Dude, just saw both."
"Both? Zeitgeist AND Inside Job?"
"Yeah, man. Lost all faith in any standing institution. The Americans are pretty ducked..."
"Seriously"
 "But there was also this relief, that our own govt. is no way near being that organized in conspiring against its own people. (In the US, they want to secretly unify the American, Canadian and Mexican currencies into the Amero) Here we can only think of creating more and more states and districts. We can never think a century ahead. Even our ducking five-year plans are failing. A Zeitgeist is never possible in India."
"I was also thinking the same thing!"
"India, man. Win."

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A DySoc Episode


    I attended a class in Dynamics of Social Change, which I and frankly speaking, no one had attended in the past three months except for that very loci looking loci girl who nobody talked to, except that even more loci looking loci guy. Not being exactly condescending towards the course (which deals with very abstract stuff most of the time) or locis, I'm not interested in both and had only gone to see the results of the report I'd turned in about a week back.
   So as fate would have it, the prof was talking about social disorganization and delinquency, how violence and anti-social activities are a result of nuclear, broken families and the cybernetic society and what not. He drew a chain: Nuclear families -> Loneliness -> Boredom -> Anti-social stuff. Forgive me for being alarmed, but this boredom was exactly the state I had been in for the past couple of months in this very boring semester. To cap it all, he mentioned, "You guys are living in the hostel, alone and bored. Suddenly a friend comes and says, "Hey, let's do something fun", and before you know it, you're doing something anti-social on the internet."
   I decided to attend all his classes from then on. I also decided to go to the temple that day. 
   Now before you fatalists jump to the worst conclusion at the drop of a LAN cable and conclude that I'm sitting for hours together in front of the dirty screen and wasting away my life blogging, here's a bit of background info.
   The mess secretary (or was it mess representative?) of VKB mess is my good friend APS, who won by a slim margin and brought in change. This also included 'progressive steps towards transparency and dialogue' like the creation of a facebook group for the same. What he did not foresee were the far-reaching consequences of trying to reach out to a lot of angry, depressed and dead  tongues. 
  The average second-yearite is filled with a lot of adolescent angst simply because he's not a tween yet and thinks people aren't giving him/her enough social recognition required of a sophomore. His tongue has also gone through various stages denial, anger and attempted suicide in the past year, reinforced with a lot of cliched mess jokes floating around. So as soon as one particular pissed-off average second-yearite posted, "APS you sucks!", it snowballed into a major dis-the-mess-rep competition on an open forum which our poor fellow simply couldn't handle. 
   Before you know it, this small grammatical error became a slogan of sorts, with people declaring a solemn "APS you sucks" instead of saying grace before having their food. If the food was extremely good, "APS you rocks" replaced it.
   An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Me and a few friends sat down and created an internet meme "for fun" with his photo. We also added "Went to mess. You simply sucks" and "Mess employees extra friendly? Mess food extra bad" and other diabolically thought-of captions for it, and shared it on DC, like textbook A-holes. It was an evil thing to do and the DySoc prof made us feel ashamed for it. Would I have done such a thing like that if I were in school? Nope. What were we thinking of anyway? Went and deleted the whole thing later.

PS: Sad part is, he wasn't even responsible for the food part but for general functioning of the mess. Very sad.
Happy part is we weren't that bored (Read anti-social) enough and didn't make the mistake of posting it on facebook. So nobody saw it. Whew.
PPS: DySoc is awesome dude.
PPPS: Still have a couple of memes left. Message me if you want!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A Timely Update


Warning: This is not an advertisement. Drop that frown and listen.
   I was Stumbling, because I wasn't watching Modern Family and I still had another half hour to kill and facebook wasn't coming up with anything interesting apart from outdated re-posts by friends who were living a light year away and a century behind. Remind me to post about how joblessness/availability of net connection in rooms ensures that a small, elitist (and therefore, condescending) group of college-goers stay internet savvy and  always get wind of the latest viral video/meme, way before their cavemen friends.
   Lets not digress. So, I was Stumbling.
   Well, there was this website. Its called The Music Map.
   What does it do? Its like Cleverbot,  a self-adapting system, but this one learns about the outer world by asking its visitors what they like and what they don't like. Like their music tastes. And based on entries by millions of visitors, it suggests bands to listen to, based on your favorite bands. It nicely puts all these 'similar' bands on a nice "map", the funda being the closer two artists are, the greater the probability that people will like both artists. 
   Now I'm actually a stickler for not classifying music by genre (Read "The Grand Unified Theory") but the Music Map is a pretty kickass way of running into bands you had never listened to and you never thought you would like. It also tells you about the powerful force of joblessness of millions and millions of people, in creating a database of thousands of thousands of bands. There you go. 
   Do check it out on http://www.gnoosic.com/ 
   And if you haven't heard of Cleverbot either, go get some leaves, stones, sticks, some deer hide, a beard and a huge club. http://www.cleverbot.com/ is a "web application that uses artificial intelligence to hold conversations with humans". Yup, you can talk to him/her/hmm. And he/she/shh will talk to you.
    It's reported that the high suicide rates at Kanpur & Kharagpur can be primarily attributed to socially awkward students having hour long conversations with Cleverbot and asking themselves (to no end) what they are doing with their lives. Sad, no?


PS: Checkout Reddit too. And try inventing the wheel, life is not all about facebook.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thayirun Jaadham

The humble curd rice is a brilliant way to bloat up that ponch of yours without all that tedious mucking about with Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. The recipe is simple too. 
  
Take one helping of cooked rice fresh from the cooker but cooled to slightly above room temperature. 
Nicely spread it around the plate for max. surface area.
Add roasted curry leaves, spices and condiments from the Anjarapetti and watch it crackle over the rice.
Pour into it one measure of thick, solid curd and watch it alchemize into rice and spices. Take care not to let it mix with the pickle. Not yet.
Drop in half a spoon of Avakkai thokku for touching. This is Indian Manga, don't confuse it with the Japanese.
Make a circular hole of diameter 2cm and pour hot, spicy sambhar into it, in memory of all bongs who have died eating sweet curd rice (Mishti Dhoyi) all their life. Ugh.
Sprinkle coriander leaves and chopped onion, reminiscent of all things kickass.
Eat moderately fast, as others might finish it.
"Adi Venna Aana Kutti" ("Last butter, my small elephant". Hard to explain)


Alternate recipe which tastes just as good (but only after class):
One cup curd from the mess, one helping of semi-cooked rice. Mash up. Lays chips. Eat like a boss (Don't mind if others crack curd rice jokes while stealing chips). Take an ice cream (for awesome afternoon-sleep-induced dreams).


Curd Rice PJ: 
Why is curd rice a good conversation starter?
Because it's called Dhahi Baath. Yeah.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Banter

Me: So, what do you want to do in ARBITS? Firstly, what do you think ARBITS does?
Jr.: Isn't it OurBITS? (Hand motion indicative of collective bonding and love)
Me: Association of Rock, BITS.
Jr.: Oh. (Awkward)
Me: Yeah.

(On the way to Pahadi, a small hillock)
II: Why did you do that?!
NS: Do what?
II: You just threw that (plastic) chips cover on the ground!
NS (With a wan smile): But it was... empty.
(II stares, stunned. Owned, actually)

Random Man (At the Ghatam): Matka kiske liye? Paani barte ho kya gharmi mein?
Me: Nahin, play karne ke liye. (He is confused)
Man (At my emergency fan): Yeh kya, heater hai kya? 
Me:  Nahin, fan hai. Battery mein chalta hai, Bijli se nahin. (Though batts were recharged by power from socket)
Man: Oh Badiya... Kahan se ho? 
Me: Chennai.
Man: Something something Baap kya kaam something something?
Me: Vey NIT Trichy mein professor hai..
Man: Accha, NIT Trichy...
Me: Aap k-k-kaun...? (Yeah, I had completely exhausted my Hindi capabilities)
Man: Oh you dont know me? Im your supree, superintendent... You don't know me?
Me (standing up): Oh! good afternoon sir.
Man: Arey, koi baat nahin... (Leaves with a smile, and later to himself) He doesn't know me...

Me: FIFA '11 sucks dude. I still swear by FIFA '98.
Venky: FIFA '98 has a key in the keyboard for everything. '11 is for pros.
Me: Your mom.
Venky: Why my mom?
Me: Because my life is bro.
Venky: Your life is what? (Not-worth-continuing-this-conversation-face) 
Me (smug): We should record these. Profound stuff, you know.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Hiatus

   As you can see, there are better excuses to give for seeing a deadline whoosh by than the ones that involve general laziness, pseudo-nerding and thinking profound thoughts in the comfort of my wafer-thin bed. I shall also say that I'm sorry for being such an ass and shall post more frequently in the future. I'm after all better than all my dear friends who started a blog (with colorful gay backgrounds and alternating small and capital letter titles like "mY tHoUgHTs!!") and later conveniently met with a "writer's block" (as Suyash puts it) after the first post itself.
And so here I am. Lets quench your thirst.
   The last few days have been quite brilliant. Went for a trip to Mussorie and places around it and had awesome fun. The 16 hour long bus journey notwithstanding, it's quite an experience to watch the landscape shift right in front of your eyes as the miles pass by. For example, the journey from the Pilani in Rajasthan to the Haryana border is as my dad says, "kilometers and kilometers of nothingness". The journey through the heart, fields and highways of Haryana gives you the expression that women are extinct and Haryanvis do nothing but booze at the local tekha and chill near the roads. And Mussorie is a catalog of history frozen in time, replete with British manors and hilly roads greenery spewed all over the place. Excellent Momos too. I shall write about that later.
   Pilani is going through tough times now, what with lightning storms marking the start of the sem, ravaging through the sports fest. Now we have extreme 4-5 hour long power cuts frustrating things up, day and night. I'm thanking my stars for getting that emergency fan-cum-light at the beginning itself. This tech wonder which was gifted by my parents to help me study during blackouts is now being put to much better use- sleep, ensuring peace of mind and a nice ponch. As they say, we have survived for 60 odd years and shall keep weathering the storm as long as the water table in this desert doesn't run out and the roof doesn't give in.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A Different Ghatam

   The writer is a self-obsessed, narcissistic egoist with a lot of time at his disposal. He takes pride in Googling his own name (at first) and later fine tuning his search keywords (a lot of times) so that he can check out his own facebook profile or blog in the search results, thereby deriving great pleasure from it.
   For instance, if you Google "Prasannaa Venkatesh", it reports a spelling error, courtesy my mom's numerous numerology experiments (Double 'n' and double 'a' does it). Of course, the search and image results point out to various namesakes who a)have either accomplished a lot more than me b) are Mudhaliar/Iyer boys on matrimony c) are simply jobless wannabes, managing multiple profiles in various social networking sites. I'm nowhere.
  "Prasannnaa Venkatesh Pot" would have also lead to ego demolition if Google+ hadn't been owned by Google and therefore not entitled to show up first in the results. Disappointed and hurt, I typed "Pot Jamming Sessions" and prayed for some spirit uplifting. The result was entirely unexpected.        
"A blog's a pot jamming session waiting to happen..."
   Jubilant cries of victory ricocheted off the small walls of my room as I thumped the air, looking at a page which seemed to be appreciating my blog. I couldn't believe that my blog was actually being perceived as an epitome, a benchmark which other collegiate blogs would follow and strive to achieve. I read on eagerly.
   The paragraph continued, "... The one who's gonna light, is the one who will care enough to get the OCB, the raw materials, the stuff..."
Wait, What?
"The one who lights, who gets the raw material is the blogger. The raw material is the blog content. The blog is passed on... If you try reading some other post, it's a beauty overdose. And so it follows..."
   I would probably get arrested if I print any more of that shit. It took quite some Googling of those 'technical terms' to understand that the idiot was talking of a whole different pot altogether and not the Ghatam and definitely, definitely not my blog. It's like being put through The Total Perspective Vortex in The Hitchhiker's Guide. I guess it took me the mother of all coincidences to figure out that simply put, I was not the center of the bloody universe. Injured but enlightened, I sat down to study ES-I.   

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Catharsis

   So the mess rep/sec elections took place with a number of fretting and fuming batch-mates, having been forced out of their afternoon slumber by candidates and cronies, coming out to vote. The first years were cursing them too, but very, very quietly. And I was at my irritated best, or worst, whichever way you want to put it. But yes, I did exercise my right and did do my part to keep this democratic farce's flag flying high. Anyway, my wingie won. He didn't treat us for it, but promised us better food, which was the need of the hour. The mess food was never something to write home about, and there is only a limited amount of jaggery-laced Sambhar, artificially colored Dhal and poisoned cabbage sabji which one's system can take without going V for Vendetta over it.
   As I was walking down the corridor, I saw the newly elected mess-rep crouched, squinting at his computer screen over a word document, a couple of friends around him. "Areyaar, naya menu bana raha hoon. Items Batha", he said. His friends nodded, fixing their gaze at me. "What do you think I should change?" he asked me, jovially. "I would rather you maintain status quo and I crib about it for the whole year", I replied.
Multiply that statement by 675 million registered voters. Whoa.
    I'm not trying to get the reader all guilty or something over here. It's just that I felt cool for making that supposedly apathetic, indifferent statement and later felt bad for feeling cool about it later, when the next day's paper arrived. In any case, the food is better than SV mess, where its either cabbage all the way or a week's worth of Aloo, Paneer, Aloo-Paneer, Paneer-Aloo and Aloo-Aloo and other contorted permutations which only Descartes can think of.
   Hey, Google has changed Blogger's interface. It looks all Google plus-esque now and is supposed to be neater and cleaner. Of course, If you have learnt anything about the writer from the lines above, its that he did not like change at all and immediately wanted his old interface back so that he could crib about it.
I paused. I thought about it.
  Poor Google, trying so many new things. Trying so hard to bring about change. In its products, in its brand and in its image.
  I kept the new interface.You're welcome.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Fail Attempt

   Of course, I should have realized like ages ago, that I was simply trying too hard. The levels of pretentiousness a person can get away with on facebook and in the real world are way, way different. It's okay to execute horribly distorted, cropped and very provocative statements punctuated with periods instead of commas like "Roxanne. Fail." or "Lame. Disgusting." and escape with it on fb. Does not happen in the real world, my friend.
   I had just seen Shaitan (A mucky story about messed up tweens) and was simply stuck blind by it's 'badassness'. I loved the movie so much, that for a few days, I was into the 'profound' and 'deep' thoughts it tried to provoke and the mirror it held up to society. I kept on harping about it (much to my sidie's frustration) about how it was a cult movie and how Bollywood had suddenly grown up. The point was, I got too carried away and did not realize that movie was supposed to be watched with a pinch of salt and not scrutinized, simply because it was something that was not intended to be mulled over. In any case, I badly wanted to tell my friends at Chennai and Trichy about the film, and look cool about it. I sent an sms, "Shaitan. Win." (Read Soul of Wit below)
  I repeat, I wanted to look cool by being all internet jargonish about it. We all do.
   The advantage with facebook is that if one does not understand a particular, provoking wall post, one can simply ctrlC, ctrlV the same onto a new tab and let Google do the explaining. It's not the same with cellphones. It was simply stupid of me to hope for any sane person with a Cerebrum to understand the bloody sms.
   Well, the end result was that I got a taste of my own medicine. The replies were as brief, as cold and as cool as the jab, ranging from "What?" and "Hmm?" to "K" and "Kk".
   Friends, they keep you on Earth...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Carnival of Rust

  Went to the Pilani Mela about a week back. We usually take a few juniors along, juniors who have been hitherto cribbing about missing city life. I did.
   But first, about the annual Mela. Located about a mile away from the campus and earmarked by that huge Shivji statue beside it, are the grounds which play host to this very 'vibrant' and 'colorful' (hmm...) fair which happens once a year. As one enters the place, one is greeted by graying ( and rather grubby) Mickey Mouse heads bobbing in the air, part of a huge slide made of inflated rubber for small kids, manufactured with the sole aim of making fun of people of short stature.
Hey Pavan, I think you can are allowed on that slide. You're short enough.
   After Pavan bleghed his ass off, we all proceeded to the best ride of the lot, the break dance. The whole of last year, 'brak dance' terrified the living daylights out of me. Now with the correct spelling and a fresh coat of paint (Actually, no.) the ride still looked puke-addictive. Now I'm no chicken, but there is a limit to the number of centrifugal vector additions my extremely motion-sickness prone body could take. Apart from the tilted axis of the whole base, the seats are allowed to swivel around at blinding speeds, leaving you gasping for breath and clutching your ponch. The juniors took it well, some girls going even twice. Oh, the emasculation of it.
   Then, there's the "Mauth Ki Khuan", literally translating to Well of Death. As the Pilani DJ(?) puts it, they have 16 year old professionals who are not afraid of death, riding a motorbike and a Maruti 800 round and round the creaking walls of the 'well' as we stood in awe from above.  
   Speaking of creaking, I would like to mention that most of the amusement rides here were probably built for G. D. Birla a hundred years back, and the management decided to trust in god to keep the rusting, crumbling structures from total implosion. One would mistake the Mela for the sets of Final Destination 5.
  But the most beautiful part of the damn Mela is not the rides or the shops or the multitude of a myriad collection of shops and sweets and bangles. All about the experience you know.
Profoundness in 3... 2... 1...
   I walked in, 18, cribbing about this village and how it's got absolutely nothing to offer. I turned a kid, 7,  on seeing the rides and how much more fun they were, with friends.Then there's the motley assortment of people from other nearby villages. Old men in Dhotis and wearing Rajasthani Turbans, their wives ambling behind them, slightly servile in attitude, young (local) girls in Churidhars with their brothers jumping about, excited just to be there, married women shopping for their households, young coots in low waist jeans. They were all very happy, with this. They didn't need the consecrated walls of concrete and steel to keep them content.
 Happiness is relative. You just have to set your zero low enough.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Politics

  The existence of this annual debate held in the auditorium for the candidates contesting for Prez and Gen-Sec to present their points and to 'reach out' to the junta has always held my serious reservations. If you can't speak English coherently, you lose, even if you have a brilliant manifesto. Me being fiercely non-political, I went to the Audi Ragging session yesterday to watch some ass whooping by the Election Council. The blunders committed by the EC notwithstanding, I managed to catch a few laughs. Usual Chom vs. Gult politics only.
   Forget home, where people are idiots. The writer has always held the strongest and proudest of views that the Tamil community has always shied away from politics and didn't give a shit about who was being elected at BITS. Strength lies in numbers and numbers isn't exactly one of my state's strong points here. Yesterday though, weakened that opinion. My friend the Sudhan, suddenly appointed himself campaign manager for the female gen-sec candidate and begged us to cheer for her, just because he was 'in' Hindi Drama Club, which she was a member of. He was so charged up during the debate that he forgot to have dinner, leaving me flabbergasted. If there's one thing I've learned about him, it's that he never misses a meal, even if he's not hungry, as he "might lose energy."
I will write about that another day. Politics does weird things to people.   

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Excerpts of Independence

First things first. An apology to all ju's who felt dissed. I should have probably written something anti-Semitic. It seems a lot 'cooler' to do that and draws less flak anyway. (Kidding, I love Gates and Zuckerberg)

Another Independence Day. Another parade missed. Another good lunch expected. Another Holiday.
I decided to do something different this time.The newspaper arrived. I had changed to The Hindu from Times of India this sem because it was the more sober of the two and I felt cool about being part of the intelligentsia who read The Hindu.
It was a bit too sober this time. In an article titled "A Fractured Freedom",

"... And yet - in vast stretches of antique teeming land - darkness, uunfreedoms and despair persist. On farm lands, sweat shops, brick kilns and mines, men, women and children are compelled to toil for dirt wages...Artisans, weavers... in penury....Caste... Countless more (freedom struggles) to be won... "

Was damn depressed dude. Was even more depressed by the fact that a few days later, like all other news, I would forget about it. So I went an read an Aussie Indian ex-batch-mate's blog (?).

"...market-based economy and extensive foreign direct investments have propelled India’s standing to fourth in the world in terms of Purchasing Power Parity as stated by the International Monetary Fund. Our government has deployed a variety of measures to encourage economic growth from with by lowering tariffs, import duties and dropped tax rates..." 


Sometimes, I just don't get them pseudo-economist bloggers.
   Just so that I don't look like an idiot in front of the reader, I did understand everything written and was actually delighted to read it and felt damn proud to be a true blooded Hindustani. Then I had a brilliant lunch at the mess (Like a BITsian), prepared by the poor devils who work harder than anyone else on holidays.


To more than anyone else, Happy Independence Day, Mess Folks.


PS: There was a blog about them juniors before this. My dad made me remove it.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Death of the Email Forward

Winehouse. Dead.
    Celebrity deaths leave me in a soup. There are these die-hard fans who mourn like hell and cry and make a scene. The black. There are these non fans who don't give two owl hoots about Amy Winehouse and are content with their Punjabi hip hop. The White. The pseudo connoisseurs of "World Music" (Me included) have listened only to one song, "Rehab" and liked it immensely. The grey.  What do I do?
   I update my fb status, conveying deep condolences and wait hungrily for likes.
   Before you judge the writer for making light of a poor woman's annihilation into the after life, you can't deny she brought it upon herself with that incessant drug habit of her's. Sad. (She did join the Forever 27 club though. People are literally dying to join that club).
   Being a real ignoramus in the realm of Internet trends (As the last post demonstrated), I continue to dish out observations without any research as.... research. I'm not much of an email forwarding person. I archive whatever I get, see them vanish in a silent whoosh and bask in the contentment that I just occupied a few more Megabytes of them Google Hard drives.
   I don't get forwards anymore.
  Is it just some "I don't send you 'cos you don't send me" thing or have users actually gotten bored with forwarding emails? The writer harks back to the days of "Forward or Yahoo! will delete your account" and (With all due respect) "Two day old Jessica has Paraneoplastic Syndrome. Forward and AOL will contribute 10c".
  One would  naturally blame Zuckerberg and StumbleUpon for this. Found a website interesting? You put it on your wall and 'earn' likes (or +1s, Sheesh). Found a cute little Internet Meme about wannabe nerdo school girls? Put it on G+ along with your trademark #hashtag. All this criticism notwithstanding, the reader would've most probably visited this post through the link on my fb wall. What kind of a hypocritical world is this?
  My hols are drawing to an unholy end and I am praying to god that I don't develop withdrawal symptoms towards the extremely, extremely sedentary lifestyle I've been leading at home.
  Off to Pack. Over and out.   

Monday, July 11, 2011

Soul of Wit

   Yes, this is going to be one of those horribly pretentious (not to mention boring) 'observations-of-society-by-an-enlightened-intellectual' posts. So save yourself, before it's too late.
A few disclaimers first:
   The control group was very small, just a few college mates. Others significant factors blatantly ignored. Bad economics, overall. But who cares? It's my ducking blog.
   Let's rewind the clocks a bit. Blogger (The blogging site) was launched by Pyra Labs in 1999 and later bought by Google in 2003. Facebook let go of its snooty "For ivy leaguers only" tag in 2004. Yahoo! acquired Flickr in 2005 and Twitter arrived in 2006. Stumbleupon though started in 2001, hit ten Million users by 2010.

Anything click?

Here's more. The average blog reader stays a nice 96 seconds per blog. You are a facebooker. You tell me how much time you spend on someone's profile, status update or a photo album. Unless one is a connoisseur who admires the 'nuances' and 'inner depth' involved in photography, one is not going to spend more than 12 seconds on a photo (I'll get to the captions later). Twitter allows only 140 characters. And if you're a stumbler, you'd have realized the point the writer's trying to drive home.
   Let's talk about two things, status updates and photo captions. Not just normal 'We are Pardayying!' photos but the aesthetic, professional worthy-of-Photog-club ones which a few friends of mine post regularly as well.
  Status messages of school goers were usually a long affair, starting with a quote or saying, then blowing it completely out of context and ending somewhat stupidly with an indifferent reference to acads or parents.

"Ncessty s da mothr f invnshn. Ma mothr joind fb. ztkfi del my acc?? Wt do i do??? :P:D:):|:( "  (Two years ago)
"Damn... hate examz...." (One year ago)
"Dang." (Now). Other examples: "Roxanne", "Inis Mona" and "Sheesh". (Don't ask me what they mean.)


     Photo captions by few school friends of mine were longer too. They felt the need to explain the pains taken, the result in mind and the means to achieve those ends. Then they became a line from the lyrics of a never-heard-of song. Now they're just one word. "Corrosion" (Describing a rusted gate), "Headspace"(Palm trees billowing in the wind) and "Diablo"(A black man in three-fourths taking a drought). Just one word.

Brevity.
  The writer stands vindicated, when they declared to the world that companies are "capitalizing on the younger generation's increasingly decreasing attention span." As supply of content (Statuses, photos, wall posts) increases, demand (Read attention span) decreases and therefore sentences began to get shorter to keep the demand going. Intelligence is being curt. Brevity is now the soul of it, pun intended.
  This will help clear the air in case you're yet to be convinced. Internet Memes. Very Short, very Sharp and very, very sexy. 
Convinced?
  This does not mean you run to your broker and ask him to buy up as many shares of that brand new internet social site where users can post and comment in only one word. And later sue me when the bubble bursts. In case you haven't noticed, I just disproved my theory by writing a 500 word post and keeping you glued till the very end. Worship me.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Friday, July 1, 2011

Slum Road

  The Scooty Pep+ sped on, making note of the piling traffic ahead. A slow drizzle started, wetting his spectacles as he took a short-cut into a narrow, tar road situated in a slum area. He slowed down a bit.
  Thatched huts, all fighting to get a little more of the road to encroach upon. Extremely small doors that you would have bend double to get through. Loudspeakers every 50 meters or so, blaring Shlokas. Ladies and girls standing outside a Syntex tank to receive their Kodam of water for the day. The quintessential politician's poster, with a politician walking, clutching the hem of his veshti, politician smiling, politician talking on his cell phone. Below were smaller pictures of the constituency representatives, hooligans, gangsters with outrageous side-burns. The posters of Prabhakaran the LTTE chief, were there about a year ago. They had been removed now. The drizzle slowly stopped.
   And the children! Their innocence still preserved, the road their second home. Teenagers with audacious low cut cheap jeans playing marbles, five year olds with plastic toy cars, dark skinned girls playing that hopping game, all on the road. Others ran off into roads that snaked in and out of the area, cars screeching to a halt behind them.
  The scooty slowed down to a crawl. The hands that rode it were alert, lest some child came running across unexpectedly. It stopped. There was a row of small stones kept on the road, a cheap barricade. He looked ahead.
   Up ahead stood a stage, propped with thick wooden sticks, six feet high, on the road. On it were miniature bulbs, the ones used in decorative lighting, connected with wires, which twisted and twirled to light up a huge Parvathi Devi. Further ahead was the temple, packed with devotees attending the Pooja. He smiled. He should have paid more attention to the loudspeakers.
  He considered squeezing through whatever bit of road was left. Beside him, old men on plastic chairs gave a knowing smile.  He turned around. Slum dogs, he muttered. The scooty traced back and sped into another world, a world it was more comfortable with.
  The slummers carried on, oblivious to him and the world surrounding them.  

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Goan Learning Curve

    It's like the hand of God(A rather mischievous one. I'm guessing that brat Krishna) shoved in and turned his sand pit upside down, exposing the city's rather dark underbelly. No, 'dark underbelly' is not a metaphor for some non-existent mafia or it's nexus with the cops here. Literally, the whole city is being dug out, whether it is for Metro rail construction in 100 feet road or for storm water drainage in T Nagar. It's not like roads were world class or anything, but hey, at least you could spot a bit of black tar here and there, reminding you that you gotta pay road tax for it. Right now it’s time to test that Scooty's off-roading skills, eh?
   Was speaking to this BITS, Goan(Oops, BITS, Pilani, K.K. Birla Goa Campus) about how his first year had been. Generic answers. Either he’s bored or showing attitude. Attitude. Must stem from somewhere. So I decided to stun him with my level of exposure about internships. (The level being I know that people are going for internships in their first year holidays itself. Worship me.)
Uh, oh, HUGE learning curve ahead...

Me: So, you thinking of any internship options? (You can almost taste the smugness the air reeked of...)
Him: Already went for one. Lasted a few weeks…
Me: Oh. (Thank god for Facebook chat. He didn’t have to see me do the Kangaroo hop around the room, mouthing out muffled expletives and curses at myself…)

   The next hour was spent kissing ass and asking him where and when he went, how he got it and what exactly he did there. Sheesh. The next day was spent asking dad about them and applying for one. The following days were spent eating at Subway, Pizza Hut and Rajdhani respectively and sleeping for 8-10 hours, convincing oneself that ignorance is bliss, only if you’re ignorant of the fact that you’re ignorant.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Leftover Clocks

    The complete and resounding success of the previous post A Dream inflated an already bloated ego of the writer to the limit, thereby pushing him into an era of complacency, laziness and apathy, and resulted in nothing less than the forgetting of consecutive birthdays of two women very dear to him. Jolted out of my permanent supine and almost comatose(This thesaurus thing is awesome) posture, I begin to dish out more and more crap.
   Well, the prolonged summer, the even more prolonged summer holidays(more than two months), the scorching heat and humid weather, the power cuts and rolling blackouts, the soaring Petrol prices and House MD are to blame. My brain has stagnated, bored to death and has run completely out of ideas. Should have joined that German language class at Max Mueller Bhavan my dad was telling me about.(The definition of Aryan racism is throwing up red squiggly spelling error lines for Bhavan while Max Mueller sir gets a clean chit...)
    All of us friends met up at Creamy Inn, an Ok ice cream joint in Anna Nagar to discuss what the first year in college had done to us. The IITians and wannabe IITians huddled together, discussing internship prospects(After only a year in college), how low the sex ratio was, coding(Doesn't matter even if you're in Naval Architecture, everyone discusses coding) and other stuff which went way over my head the moment the chatter started. Us mere mortals, crept around, talking about how our brothers who were now in the vicious circle of school and JEE coaching were doing. Mere mortal talk.Well, other mundanely interesting things also crop up.

Me: I left a few things in my room while packing by mistake. Damn, I forgot my door mat!
Sid: I had a few problems too. When I came out, I noticed I was late for the train and left in a hurry. Retrospecting, I thought, "How did I notice I was late?", and answered myself, "By looking at the clock".
Me: And where was the clock?
Sid: In my room! Almost missed the train in running back to get it.
Gautham: Shit. I forgot mine!
        
      It doesn't matter which college you go to, as long as you have friends who lighten your heart and keep you laughing, I guess. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Dream

      He walked down Gandhi Marg, the default chillness of the night barely negating the searing heat of the day that had just passed. He liked walking alone in the night, a denizen of the dark. He was a shadow, black, stark in contrast to the white that gleamed the road, painted so by pigeon droppings. His destination was near. His weary feet that had been complaining of the claustrophobia that usually accompanies upper-side berths in an uneventful 2000 km long journey by rail and an even more nauseating drive down from civilization to well, 'civilization', trudged along, silently plotting rebellion.
      He was a sophomore now, as he loved to call himself. It made him feel, 'senior'. The  past academic year had imbibed in him certain changes, some for the better, some for the very worst. To his achievements, he proudly remembered going to the temple at least once a week, every single week. Whether it was just to get away from Ghatam practice or screwed up acads or general flotsam and jetsam floating around meaninglessly in his wandering mind. He did pray, but not as much as he did just sitting there, watching the multitudes of pigeons flying round and round the temple's towering structure, having his twenty minutes of blankness every man supposedly has.
     The night was fresh. The end was near. He approached Shankar Bhawan, just beyond Patel circle. He smiled.
     The steps which lead to the upper T-wing were suddenly easier to climb as the mind was prowling on some other chain of thought, one that involved knocking on the poor junior who had just been assigned the room he had stayed in, the past year. His 'room-son' must be sleeping now, his bio-clock hardly accustomed to what it was in for in the next couple of years. Kid was just a day old in college.
     263, Shankar Bhawan, Raj-333031. The day he discovered he had got a single room.The incessant banging when he slept in the afternoons. His own door mat.  Empty packets of chips and coke bottles on the floor. The mound of sand and dirt when he decided to clean it. "Siddartha", which he never finished reading. The torn Physics I quiz paper. The "ANNA" written with Duct tape on his door. It later became his hostel nick name.
  He approached his old room, his head pounding. The light was on. Good.
  He heard voices. Parent voices. Damn. Tonight is not the night.
  Suddenly, the kid's dad came out and examined the door. The "ANNA" sticker shone in all glory in the white corridor light. The newly admit's dad swore. "We have to complain to the chowki. Otherwise they'll slap a fine on you for scribbling on the door instead of the idiot who actually did this", he said to his son inside.
     Blood rushing in his ears, the protagonist tried to walk past coolly. He didn't know nothing about this. He almost reached the end of the corridor, ready to break into a run. How the hell had the they not seen the damn thing when they had entered  the room for the first time?
    "ANNA! My favorite south Indian!", boomed a familiar voice. The protagonist froze. Shit. The dad turned, first towards the silhouette at the other end of the corridor and then at him, his face a mixture of surprise, confusion and increasing anger.
  Apparently 257, Shankar Bhawan had decided to visit his old room too

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Crap

OK.
  I don't know. But for some reason, my voice has started slurring whenever I speak English of complicacy a little more than "Uhh", "Um" and "What?"... See? I don't think there's even a word called complicacy! It's throwing up a spelling error! Got to go over this logically. Yeah, I just finished three seasons of House MD, so a little bit boolean shouldn't be much of a problem... What changed after coming here?
   
1. I am in Chennai, TN. Very homogeneous society in terms of linguistics. Language: Tamizh. English negligible. Seri.
          I have also, for some bizarre reason, cut myself off from the outside world. Just the odd, politically-incorrect comment in Facebook. A like here and there...
2. I have just finished reading The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger and think the protagonist is this lousy, rich idiot with a hormonal imbalance problem. But still, there's no denying the book became famous because the character gets to you. (Or rather, you know it's famous and controversial. Therefore, you know it's supposed to get to you. So even if it doesn't, your brain convinces yourself that you're being gotten by it. Kinda like the anti-placebo. You're given water, but if you think its poison... )
Hmm...
3. I haven't posted in a long time...
    Ah...
That should nail it. Will keep posting... 
Till then... A little bit of gen randomness...

Geethadhunikku thakadheem thatri kita thom
NachurahE gori ta tattai tai tattai thirakatom 
(Listen to it..


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Entry

 The writer's entry for Cactus Flower, the annual magazine by the English Press Club, BITS, Pilani. (Didn't get selected though, so read and comment) 

THE GRAND UNIFIED THEORY

-          Prasannaa Venkatesh

A mulatto…
    “You listen to Indian bands?” intimidated the senior’s voice, “Name some.”
An albino…
   “Um, Lounge Piranha, Junkyard Groove, E Flat and others, sir”.
A mosquito…
   “E Flat? Ok, imagine that lappy over there is me and sing an E Flat song to it, nicely.”
My Libido…
   Fixating my eyes on the computer, I sang, “Wwould, ssomeone please open up thiss ssarcophagus, ‘cos I’m a living zzombie…”. Of course my voice was trembling. It had only been a few days since I’d arrived on campus, proudly strutting about like I owned this blue blooded institution and voila, I was in a senior’s room, singing my favorite Chennai band’s song like some sub Saharan who had been dropped in Siberia, shivering and splattering.
   “Do you listen to metal?”
My Denial… My denial… My denial…
  “Not much, sir. Only grunge; I’m more into alternative rock.”
  “Metal is good man. I’m not surprised. The metal scene in Chennai is yuck.”
My Denial… My Denial… My Denial…
 “Not exactly, sir. Null friction is a decent band…”
 My Denial… My Denial… My Denial…
  “Null friction is not metal, dumbo… Listen to Lamb of God or Pantera...”
  Kurt Cobain and I remained in our state of denial in the background…
     
                                                                 A few weeks later…
“Let’s start. One, two, three, four…”
      The room, hitherto very still and silent suddenly burst with music as the violin and the veena blended together, touching notes, making one’s heart flip as I listened on, resisting every urge to just get up and start dancing. I was amazed and more so, confused. Since my ‘initiation’ a few weeks ago(The senior’s voice still booming inside my head), I had made it a point to become a proper metal head, listening to all genres; thrash, folk, death, doom, melodeath, progressive and black.
  The tempo of the percussion rose steadily and the veena followed suit…
     Even alternative rock is supposed to sound boring right now. Metal is what everyone’s supposed to like, right? The rest was all ‘kiddo stuff’, no?  Why did I like this then?
  The duo reached a crescendo as the last few notes danced off their wooden bodies…
     Every other form and genre of music was supposed to be ‘boring’. Metal was way different from Carnatic. I closed my eyes, thinking; and listening. It’s a whole universe between them, isn’t it?

Isn’t it?
   The veena let out a violent riff as the able hands that played it traversed the full length of the fret, a wild blur.
    And I was immediately transported to Music Nite with the lead guitarist playing Eddie Van Halen’s “Eruption”, as people bowed in respect while some headbanged and others were left simply speechless. The mind was confused. What was I hearing? Carnatic or Rock? Van Halen or Veena?
   The veena ended with a challenging note, snaring at the violin to prove its worth. The violin took it up, beginning with a sober note. The bow and the hand which controlled it soon started snaking back and forth, doubling its speed as it mocked the percussion to follow it successfully while the other hand which held the violin struggled to hold still.  As the tempo reached a feverish pitch…
    And I was reminded of a song which I had listened to very recently, “Inis Mona” by Eluveitie. The genre mattered very little now as it hit me. Music was not so much about listening to only a particular style or genre as it was about music itself. Nomenclature is a creation of man, who desperately tries to classify sights and sounds which he sees and hears, in vain. The notes, the music which flowed did not question the instrument from where it poured; violin, veena or electric guitar. Music was not a random collection of notes to be strummed at will. Music is not limited, is not held back and is not burdened by the taxonomic curse man tries to cast on her.
    I hung my head in shame for being so narrow minded. I also bowed my head in respect. The experience had moved me.  Back in my room, I closed my eyes and quietly listened to “Nagumomu “, notching its rating up a few stars in my iTunes library...

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Monday, May 9, 2011

Walking Billboard for Stumbleupon

  It is in. It's now and it's wow. Its's bigger than parodies of Friday and the single biggest entropy generator since the Big Bang. It's caught my attention ever since I started noticing that suddenly guys and girls had started becoming more and more random as the days passed by. A conversation with a fellow stumbler:

Me         : I heard Metallica is coming to Delhi this October...
Stumbler : I know. Porcupine tree had came over for MoodI. Do you know they sell condoms in Amazon.com?
Me         : How much do you think the tickets... Wait, you what?
Stumbler : Which reminds me. The icy rings of Saturn are actually ammonia crystals,
Me         : How exactly did that remind you of..?
Stumbler : And down in the Projects, they haven't got good restaurants and that's what leads to gang shootouts...
Me         : Huh?
Stumbler : Stumbleupon.com FTW. (Fists the air...)
      Ok, if you did understand an ounce of the second stumbled-upon statement(which doesn't mean that you gotta feel like crap if you didn't) you are an intellectual. Apparently, the Projects refer to public housing and development projects mainly in South Boston, built for poor and homeless African Americans, which eventually turned into Black Gang HQs and crack cocaine addicts. If you have either read the "Why do drug dealers live with their moms?" chapter of Freakonomics or played GTA San Andreas, you would know what I'm talking about. For the rest of y'all, keep it real and keep the hood clean, dawgs...
    Stumbleupon is devilishly simple. It capitalizes on the younger generation's increasingly decreasing attention span. It asks you for your interests, say economics or books or communism or poetry, and once you press the Stumble! button, it shows you websites which have been classified by other stumblers based on your interests. It's basically a directed search, where you aren't exactly looking for something. Once you're done with the site, you rate it and click Stumble! again, and it takes you to a different site, slowly refining the sites it shows you based on your ratings.
    Coming up: Something which is giving serious competition to Blogging in the world of good vocabulary. Life is good.

Friday, May 6, 2011

End sem woes

" I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
                                                                         - Douglas Adams
   Planned studying. Always believe(d) in it. If you know me well enough, you would know I keep a diary for planning out studying ops and "motivational quotes"(Yeah, that's me, all the peripheral, unnecessary BS and not the actual studying). The quote above should also tell you that this special planning book has got "Don't Panic" in large friendly letters and I named it The Hitchhiker's Guide to Planning. Cool, huh?  Three end sem exams have whooshed by. Three exams whose studying deadlines were not met. Three more to go, Dayyym...
   The 'cool' (?) colleges are known for their very relaxed norms regarding general students' day and night lives. Dad always used to brag about how he used to go college in shorts. In that way, BITS is the coolest college around. I dare you to find another college which has an exclusive All Night Canteen for students to blow cash over(It's open till 3:30 AM). But there is a general feeling that the rules have been tightened up a notch. Only Jeans and full pants are allowed in the Lecture complex and the IPC these days(Totally justifiable, there is a censored reason behind that!). I myself, while walking from one class to another, was just whistling "Little bird". Just whistling. In the corridors. A haggard old man, complete with moustache(Why does the text editor report a spelling mistake?) and an all knowing smile(He could have tattooed "Bah, college students..." on his forehead) says, "Caaleje hai bhai, Caaleje... "
And your point is?
    Another completely random stream of thoughts. Obama killed Osama -> Global markets rose in unison -> Gold prices also rose -> An incident which comes to my mind.
   I was ten or twelve then. We had gone to Tanishq 'cos mom's jewelry fixation center in her brain had suddenly gotten activated. I, still in the inquisitive stage, asked the guy why Platinum was costlier than Gold. While returning back, my dad explained, "He said  Platinum is rarer than Gold, that's why. Though Platinum is 20 times rarer than Gold, yet it is only around 1.2 times costlier. So the only way Platinum prices(and therefore it's value) can go are - up. It's a stupid argument. But unfortunately, I've fallen for it."          
Aww...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Patriotic standees

    After the reader has been apparently bored to death with The Definition of Desultory files Part 1 and 2, all the writer can warn them is of more drivel to follow. However, this post has been peppered with an interesting incident...
    Have you noticed that movies with a cult following, especially among college youth(Hell, I'm actually talking about movies now) always tend to have a male narrator in the background? A narrator whose voice sounds indifferent, bordering on sarcasm? Whether it's Ed Norton's rant about his inability to believe what was happening around him in Fight Club(It's a great movie yeah, but...) or Morgan Freeman's deep, emo drawl in The Shawshank Redemption,  the junta digs narrators, can relate to them, can think of them as people standing on the same side of the silver screen as they are... Why all this crap? I just saw RocknRolla... Hell yeah!
    Was walking down Gandhi Marg, wanting to withdraw some money from the ATM, and I saw two guys, about my height facing each other and, and... wait for it... and standing still. Now that's saying something, for no trivial reason is Gandhi Marg called the milky way. To stand there for more than a micro second translates to hell for your hair, mind. The pestilence stricken multitudes of crows and pigeons who will kill to take a shot at you with their A-holes are not to be ignored at any cost. Coming back to these courageous men, they stood still as stone... had not moved a bit. At a distance I could see a third friend of their's running away at a distance...
   These two freshers had my attention as I walked on, twenty yards away... What were they standing there for? Is this some mundane ragging thing? To stay and get shit on? Can't be.. It would be too obvious for a prof who was passing by.. The third friend was now calling out to both of them, almost swearing at them for missing the start..
The start of what?
   The two seemingly idiotic, almost gay guys held their ground as people passed on, looking incredulous.
The start of what, again?
   I suddenly remembered something. The Cricket World Cup final.
Hmm... Connect the dots...
   And lo! From yonder(Krishna Bhawan Common Room) drifted the melodious tune of the... Indian National Anthem.
Shit
   I froze. Out of shame and respect.
Jaya Jaya Jaya He...
   

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The DoD files II


   Should have been more careful... Remember that mom had sent me this book on Kushwant Singh. So this man is fascinating, to say the least (both good and bad). So with all enthu, I borrowed some "Why I supported the emergency" (See, he is fascinating...), written by him and ahem, it never caught my attention for a few days until I decided to light an incense stick  to ward off some highly strong (and exotic) "washed clothes" vapors which were drifting around... I place it on top of a piece of paper for heat insulation and the book below the whole arrangement. Little did I know that the tip reaches about 800 degrees C and the damn thing would burn through the paper and through Rajiv Gandhi's head, the cover of the book...
    And recently, I was struck blind by a screen shot of a  facebook user's profile on whose wall was made some very interesting observations. The wannabe Buddha started off with stating that he had known the "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side" joke for the past 15 years and that he had never thought about it in a different way.
Death.
Any of you ever thought about it that way? The other side? Of life?
Death?
Huh? Gotcha...

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The DoD files I


   People like to think and feel that things are getting worse for other people. SuperFreakonomics  talks of "Unbelievable Stories of Apathy and Altruism" but I think fatalism constitutes the core of a human being. Remove the many different layers and emotions and you would find that the Second law of Entropy forms the basis of one's psyche. The jar of milk will fall and smash to pieces. The eggs, no, the crate of eggs will break and splatter. 200 people will die of dengue. That little nuclear coolant problem in Jap land will result in Apocalypse. I have got no less than fifteen odd text forwards describing the radiation threat as an EOW symptom. Stop wallowing in self pity, imagining the last few calls you make to parents and other loved ones... Boring... 
   Whoa! That was some heavy stuff. Thought the reader would brood and look deep and forget about why I haven't written in a long while. An explanation is deserved and an explanation will be given. I was writing an article for Cactus Flower, the annual magazine of BITS, Pilani. Hopeless excuse, isn't it? Not if you consider the number of tests and quizzes and the Raag practice which has been going in the past few weeks. Sangamam'11 was presented successfully on the 6th of March and since then I have been diverting evenings to ahem, studies...
   Two important discoveries in the recent past. One, the library. Hitherto used only for nerding away in peace, away from the confines of my room and the distractions offered by my bed, I also discovered that it has things known as 'books'. Not just the "The Physics of Particles and Waves" and "Soil Mechanics" type but also the Rowling, Ludlum and  the Asimov types. The little snag in the above statement is that whenever I manage to locate a book using the lib's computerized system(A veritable treasure hunt), the book is usually in such a dilapidated condition that it kills the joy of reading. ..
   The second is the fact there is a profound mindset change among freshers as they enter their second semester in campus. They know the ways and means of the world and most importantly can use institutions like The All Night Canteen(ANC) without any fear of being trounced upon by seniors. I also started ANCing. My senior has a nice way of putting it. I could've been eating for free. The mess bill involved was an impersonal equation my father had with the insti and my wallet was not involved. And Et voila!  My ANC bill was a bloated 1200 bucks before I knew it. And the worst part was I couldn't stop myself... Egg rice and Cheese Burger... Holy Shit!
   And guys, the situation genuinely seems to be getting worse... Pray for Japan...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Ivy League LSD

   A lot of people, mostly freshers run their case by knowing or pretending to know all about PG degrees in the US of A. Highly amusing are the encounters with guys who cannot complete a sentence without garnishing it with "Harvard" and "Princeton" or "UIUC" in a normal conversation about say, heavy metal. How they crept up is an entirely different question. Do they think it makes them cool by talking about it? No idea. This can be explained as a runoff from those JEE coaching days when a person, who cannot get above 60 percentile in the All India Test Series harps about how his dad or mom or uncle or Grandfather's brother's son's wife's half brother's son was an IITian ot BITSian and how much pressure he is under (the writer can also relate to that, very well, in fact... However, he did nothing to concentrate more on his studies...).
   Anyway, the above para was completely random, aimed at nobody. The chemistry lecture went quite decently.  "It doesn't matter how you pronounce it, "Jetcheff" or "Jetcheff". The Germans and Russians can handle it", rang the voice of the lecturer as students sat in rapt attention and my eyes drooped worse than a koala bear. For those who are not chemistry geeks, there is a Russian bloke called Saytzeff who was beautifully mispronounced as "Zaitsev" by the Germans. My professor being an Indian, pronounced both the same way. He is a brilliant prof though, nice teacher...
   You know you are in the second sem of the academic year when suddenly people start talking a lot about acads and projects. Friend Judee(Remember the guy with the Android phone?) is living proof. He is an Msc. Chemistry student and wants to major in an engineering degree too. So when asked (by mistake) what his interests were, he ranted almost immediately, "Semiconductors, Automobile Engineering, Nanotech, Robotics, a bit of Computer science too..." Hmm... he is still confused about what he is going to take and so am I. I don't know anything about any engineering discipline and was planning to choose what he was taking, damn...
   The Founder's day celebration was a grand success as everyone cheered(?) us on as we danced(?). We were appreciated, more for the fact that we had the guts to not only stand but dance before a gafffe hungry crowd, jeering and laughing all the way through. The IC dinner was excellent as usual and the post dance euphoria added to the taste..
    Math test just got over now. Did decently... Will watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind" (again), a story about a man who goes to Princeton... Uh oh, did I just give myself away?

Friday, February 4, 2011

Welcoming the summer(?)

Yesterday's list:
          1. Plan proposal to a girl I like in Chennai on Valentine's. (Am a despo. Period.)
          2. Plan the studying part for upcoming tests. (Aiming for 8+ CGPA)
          3. Organize books and model exam papers and do chem assignment.
          4. Wake up at 6:30 AM everyday the next week.
          5. Wash undies.

Today's List:
          1. Plan the studying part for upcoming tests. (Aiming for 9+ CGPA)
          2. Organize books and model exam papers and do chem assignment
          3. Wake up at 7:30 AM everyday next week.
          4. Plan proposal for BITSian sister. (Am still a despo. Period.)

(Hmm, the proposal for Chennai girl was half-hearted anyway, and was quashed by my best friend Ashwin. The undies were washed.)

   This weekend went quite well. Well is relative, as usual. Nothing wrong happened. I managed to set my room right and that's saying something with all the cobwebs and dust and books lying around. Raag sessions are also going decently, though I cannot say the same for Founder's day... (Read Previous post.)
   The weather is getting more and more pleasant by the day. I apologize. I don't know if it's the BITSian in me which keeps wanting to harp about the weather at the drop of pigeon shit or the south Indian which frankly, hasn't seen life below 25 and above 40 degrees. The seniors say that it is the calm before the storm, the deep breath before the plunge into scorching heat. Yuck. Freezing cold can be handled. I hate summers.          
   The hostel has turned into a CounterStrike 1.6 gaming den 'cos the freshers got laptops (No, I got a Netbook). So it's not a big surprise to hear "Abey Saale, get to their base armed with sniper as soon as "freeze time" runs out and don't forget to turn off Friendly Fire" or just "Nooooooooo...". Sad. There was this article I read the other day about the incresing number of suicides in IITK; Around 8 in the past five years... It accounted students holing up in their dens and facebooking and LAN games and general solitary confinement as a major factor. My dad told me that in his days, even if students drank or smoked (up?), they did so together and it was always fun with people around...
   Hey, the answer key to my chem test came out. I would like to focus on two emotions here. The first one is happiness; When you have done a test well; When you don't have any classes left for the day; When nothing can go wrong; When you just want to snuggle into your bed without going on a guilt trip like your school days, when a moment not spent on mugging formulae is a moment wasted; When you're in love with life;
  That's how I felt immediately after the test got over...
  The second is the sense of crushing defeat, of impending doom, of dreaded fear, when everything can go wrong at the very start, where I might be forced to take the Chemical Dual(No offense meant for chemicalites... Do remember that I wanted chemical) and will live to regret not working hard enough...
  Well, you know when I felt that way now...(Let's wait and hope I've done well...)
   And  like every Seven  Habits has an Eighth Habit, I would like to tell you about another awesome feeling. My mom sent me two HUGE parcels. One had two great books in it and the other had savories and snacks which might just help me last through this sem without any qualms about the pathetic food here. Yay! Thanks mom! Mental note to send a greeting card for everyone's birthday made...
   The management fest "Interface'11" is happening right now. Everyone's excited, as the culinary delights(?) of Domino's Pizzas(Oh no, not again!) and Momos have set up stalls. It's just another excuse for tasting a bit of civilization before we become our usual cynical, class bunking selves again. My friend Nadeem texted me the other day:
    Nadeem: Ssup?
            Me: Nothing much here man, just tests here.. you temme..
    Nadeem: What else?
            Me: Had my chem test the other day. Went ok, I guess. Otherwise, life is fine...
    Nadeem: Hmm... Ssup?
        Me: Dude, I'm in a bloody village in the middle of nowhere where post offices and banks close at 2 PM itself and civilization is 200 kms away. What do you expect?
    Nadeem: Kk, Am so sorry, man.. Will talk later?
           
                

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Shitty one

 To be the mud, the bog, the mire,
 To soak the bones in February-
 Eons from the autumn shower-
 Even from a summer berry!
                                           - February Rain, 72.21.81.63


     Oh, what is it? I can hear it. The steady clatter which makes one believe that the Tzar's horse carriage itself is arriving. Its in the air, I can smell it! Its on the ground. I can see it. Its on my head too. Well, what is it? Its PIGEON SHIT! 
    Life in Pilani can be a bitch sometimes... Like, that blue moon dhobi and that little curfew for girls. Well, right in front of my hostel is a patch of white road known as the Milky Way. This dilapidated, seldom walked upon if not ran across and completely yuck stretch has got its infamous nickname because, believe me, Pigeons from all across the campus sit on a tree in the sidewalk and choose to let loose. Its true, they ALL chose to suffer from explosive diarrhea at the milky way! It rains shit!
    Well, pot jamming or ghatam practice is on full swing, accosted by some "founder's day" celebration dance and learning a bit of photography training. I also managed to nerd a bit in the library today and therefore granted myself a guilt free pass to blog away. I also borrowed "Macroeconomics deMystified" from the lib... Kinda figured that engineering may not be so interesting after all so why not major properly in economics? It is a good field..
   My friend Hariharasudhan(smartly shortened to Judee, there's a history behind that) has got this kickass android xperia phone, and it is well...........................................kickass! Its got everything, man. The apps are nice, if not squeaky clean like apple, if you know what I mean. It can read docs and spreadsheets and apps like the Bar code reader and Talking Tom are amazing. A nice app is the urban dictionary...  
   You may already know this, but for the old chops, here goes... The word 'shit' is a very versatile term. So Wrong context and/or emphasis on specific words may give the sentence a whole new meaning. Adding a "the" before 'shit' and stressing on it actually means the shit is cool. Removing the "the" completely messes it up. So, please do me a favor and say Li'l Wayne and t-Pain are shit, not the... 
       My room is a mess, I got a lot of laundry to wash, there's a lot of ghatam practice and I need to pickup my grades! Ugh, I need to get my act together, pull my pants up, literally and figuratively too(Friends will get it. Go Low Waist!). I made this small timetable, describing short term plans(which include studying hard for the t1 and waking up by 7) and long term plans(writing a book and washing my clothes). I like writing stuff. 
   Yawn, time's almost one. I am all out of stray thoughts... G'nite then...

Monday, January 17, 2011

7 Ganton Maaf

    Am blogging, completely spent of all energy to do anything else, of the will to do anything to do with acads and of the compulsion to go to anc to munch something. Two important developments... One, I attended all SEVEN hours of class, including every foul lecture and draconian tut. That's saying something, 'cos I never had a 7 hour day in my previous sem and even then, I had not attended all classes of any day. Who ever said the path to renaissance, order and decorum from chaos and laziness starts with baby steps? I would like to see the reader attend a seven hour day...
   Maybe I went overboard with my use of (googled) words. Well, the second piece of trivia about yours truly is that I am going to be dancing for the Pilani Tamil Mandram to a peppy number on The Founder's Day celebrations in the auditorium in front of all the students. Holy crap, that's embarrassment! I hark back to the days of old when I came up with amazing excuses to skip the kiddish Sports Day dance at school. Revenge, huh?
   Meanwhile, the institute, in keeping with its ambitions and dreams of Vision 2020, is finally thinking ahead and has installed these small, cute(?) and irritating speed breakers at every turn of the campus. Well, I guess students in super bikes by 2020 wouldn't be so off the mark, would you say? On a serious note, I seriously appreciate the insti's effort. They could try and increase the number of dustbins too... I love my college, man. I want it to give some serious competition to the IITs...
   My mom can sleep peacefully at home knowing that I simply cannot game on my netbook. Why? I tried to install Counter strike 1.6 on my comp and et voila! It was slower than my '98 comp when I tried to play Liberty City on it... Poor devil, It put up such a brave fight! Anyway, I didn't want to see it suffer anymore and uninstalled it... I'm using it for lec slides and blogging only now...
   I'm putting the cycle(Baby, I call it) to full and awesome use these days. I am so happy. It eliminates all these lousy 'transition' time intervals which were such a big waste... Give you an example... If the time is 11:00 AM and I got a class at 12 and I had to buy stuff at C'not, without a cycle I won't go 'cos the job might take me more than an hour. Well, with a cycle, thinking about travel time intervals is simplified and can be neglected, if you get what I mean...
   Meanwhile, our bhawan also acquired the much coveted "Visited by the Chief Warden" status symbol. No idea what we did, though. We did have a few birthday 'celebrations' in the first few days. Guess they were loud enough.
   On the subject of metal, I think only folk metal is worth listening to these days. They are mostly clean, they quench that li'l classical thirst inside me and most importantly, the music is damn good. Special reference to Inis Mona by Eluveitie and Windrider by Ensiferum.

   Stop pulling at your hair, my blog ain't that bad...
PS:  Did I tell you that the trailer of 7 Khoon Maaf looks kickass? Looks like Priyanka Chopra and Vishal Bharadwaj are cooking up a real kicker this time. Wishing Akshay kumar more luck this year...